Unaligned Values

Have you ever had a conversation with a friend that unexpectedly highlighted just how different your values are? Today, I had such an experience, and it left me pondering the nature of friendships and the importance of aligning values and avoiding keeping up with contact with unaligned values. Let’s dive into the day’s events and the lessons learned from this encounter.

Thursday, July 4th, 2024 — Still in the mindset of victory and progress, with a steady commitment to catching up with God, the day started well. I’m trying to stay on track with my year plan for reading the Bible, and I’m pleased to say that I am up to date. In addition to this, I had some other tasks to complete before my team meeting this evening.

The day began with a lot of planning. I also intended to reach out to my younger brother to spend some time on personal growth and development, which was the highlight of my day. Most importantly, I needed to submit an application. Being in the application season is not easy, as each opportunity requires a bespoke application. I had a couple more things to write to finalise it, which is hard work.

During the day, I had a conversation with a ‘friend’ and realised that this person’s needs could be easily met by someone in my network. However, we discovered that our values were not aligned, and the conversation did not go well. We misunderstood each other, and it ended on a sour note. This was the saddest part of my day.

Upon reflecting, I had a chat with my best friend, and we looked at the situation from both perspectives. We gained some clarity on what I could have said differently and how the other person’s reaction might have been inappropriate. We are all different, and I learned that when someone in your network does not share your values, disagreements are inevitable.

True friendship should not end over a disagreement. Unfortunately, that’s what happened. I realised that this person might not belong in my network after all. I drafted a note expressing my understanding and apology, but before I could send it, I discovered I had been blocked. I found it interesting and decided that I would no longer have to deal with such negative energy.

It’s important to acknowledge that not everyone will stay in your network. Some people come and go, and some are only around for a season. I concluded that I am okay with this and hold no offence. It’s crucial to respect each other and maturely handle differences to improve the relationship.

However, despite the setback, I continued with my day. I did some one-on-one tutoring, teaching content management systems on WordPress, a bit of graphic design, a purpose chat and popped into my weekly team meeting. It turned out to be a productive day.

Today, the University published a short story on news about the 3-Minute Thesis competition, which you can read here.

Overall, that’s all for today. I had a very good time with my family, watched a movie together, and moved on. I hope you’ve found something valuable in today’s experiences. Amidst the challenges, there are always lessons to be learn.

Lessons from Today

1. The Importance of Aligning Values in Friendships: The conversation with my ‘friend’ highlighted how crucial it is to have aligned values in any relationship. When values clash, misunderstandings are inevitable, leading to conflicts that can strain or even end friendships. Recognising and respecting these differences can help in deciding who truly belongs in your network.

2. Handling Disagreements Maturely: Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but how we handle them matters. Reflecting on the conversation with my best friend, we realised the importance of maturely expressing our differences and seeking clarity. True friendships should withstand disagreements and find ways to improve and grow from them.

3. Moving Forward Despite Setbacks: The day’s events reminded me that setbacks should not derail our progress. Despite the unpleasant conversation, I continued with my tasks and maintained productivity. It’s essential to keep moving forward and not let negative experiences hinder our goals and daily achievements.