Wednesday, 17 July 2024 — I am surviving better; baby is adjusting. I read and know now for sure that babies tend to be very clingy and attached to their mothers. Later in this text, I will relate baby’s clinginess and adjusting when the mother returns to work to the context of doing a PhD programme.
It is mid-week, and I am doing it well. No harm or casualty, we are all happy. My difficult experience on Monday and Tuesday blogs are normal. I believe so because, this is a normal and healthy stage of development as infants form a strong attachment bond with their primary caregiver. Babies this young have a strong need for comfort, soothing, and the familiarity of their mother’s presence.
When my wife returned to work, this caused major adjustment for the baby. They call it separation anxiety, which is common, as the baby may protest or become distressed when the mother leaves. The baby may cry more, have trouble sleeping, or seem more fussy or clingy during this transition, so I read. My baby cried a lot on the first day, but he soon adjusted. This is explain by John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory.
Now, let’s relate this to the PhD process. Just as a newborn baby is very attached and clingy to their mother in the first 6 months, a PhD student can experience a similar level of attachment and dependence on their PhD advisor in the early stages of their doctoral programme. This might not be exactly the same for all PhDers but it is for most.
For me, at the onset, as much as I thought I knew about what I wanted to study, just like the baby, I was vulnerable and was definitely in my formative period where I heavily relied on my mentor/supervisor for guidance, support, and a sense of security. At some point, I needed emotional support because, I had my family away in Nigeria, welcome a newborn which I had not meet – these were a lot to handle. My supervisor, a very good individual that God blessed me with became my academic “parent” in many ways.
So, I could say, when the PhD student has to become more independent, such as when the advisor is unavailable due to other responsibilities, the student may experience separation anxiety and difficulty adjusting. They may feel lost, insecure, or struggle to make progress on their own.
Some strategies that can help PhD students through this transition include:
- Gradually taking on more independent research and tasks, with the advisor providing a scaffold of support.
- Establishing regular check-in routines and communication with the advisor, like the baby’s goodbye rituals.
- Seeking support from other faculty, peers, or resources to help meet emotional and practical needs.
- Maintaining consistent work habits and timelines between advisor meetings and solo work.
- Acknowledging the normal feelings of clinginess or anxiety and being patient with oneself during the adjustment period.
Just as the baby will eventually adapt to the mother’s return to work, the PhD student can learn to become more self-sufficient and resilient, though some lingering dependence on the advisor may continue for some time. Recognizing and normalizing this attachment process can help PhD students navigate this transition more smoothly.
Meta:
Discover how Attachment Theory explains the challenges PhD students face when transitioning from dependency on their advisors to independence, paralleling a baby’s separation anxiety from their mother. Learn strategies to navigate this critical phase smoothly.
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